faith

To the Class of 2024

/ calledtomotherhood / 1 Comment

I recently had the honor of speaking at my alma mater and shared this message with the Class of 2024.

It’s been a number of years since I’ve walked these halls, yet I can still remember the excitement I felt as graduation inched closer. So many had told me that the best years of my life were just before me, and I was so excited to experience it all. I had enjoyed my high school years, but I was ready for the next season. I was ready to meet new people, try new things, and see different places. Can any of you in this room relate? I was ready to embrace the years that stretched before me that many had promised would be so incredibly good. And those years were in so many ways. I went on to college, received my first teaching job, got my first apartment, met the man that is now my husband, and started a family. As I look back on those years, that season of my life was amazing in so many ways. However, it was also more challenging than I ever expected. I quickly learned that though there is joy to be found in every season, there is also heartache. For those sitting here tonight, preparing to graduate, I want to tell you that these next years will be life changing for you. Everything you have learned up to now has been preparing you for this time. Whether you are going on for further education, entering the work force, entering the military, or settling down to start a family, these next few years will be full of so much good. But, in the midst of the good, there will be hard things to face as well. In the midst of the joy, you will face storms. And my challenge for you tonight is to consider how you will handle those storms when they come. 

We find an example of how one group of people handled a storm they encountered in their lives in the book of Matthew. Jesus has been traveling throughout Galilee teaching. Needing to rest, He and his disciples board a boat on the Sea of Galilee and head towards the other shore. 

The Sea of Galilee is located in northern Israel and is only 13 miles long by 7 miles wide. So, not huge. However, it sits about 700 feet below sea level and is surrounded by hills and mountains. Winds sweeping over the mountains often trigger sudden and violent storms. Now, four of the disciples with Jesus were seasoned fisherman and would have been familiar with the sea and the storms that could arise. Keep that in mind as we read this passage again. Matthew 8:23-27.

“23 When He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. 24 And behold, a violent storm developed on the sea, so that the boat was being covered by the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. 25 And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, ‘Save us, Lord; we are perishing!’ 26 He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?’ Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. 27 The men were amazed, and said, ‘What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?’”

 Matthew 8:23-27 (NASB) 

A violent storm develops once they are out to sea. And this wasn’t just your typical thunderstorm. The word “violent” in these verses is used to describe a storm with wind so fierce that the waves were coming up over the sides and into the boat.  A storm with wind so fierce that even those seasoned fishermen, who no doubt had been through strong storms before, were terrified. They thought they were going to die. 

You will face storms in this life, and sometimes, they will feel just as fierce. You may lose a job or face financial difficulties. You or someone you love may be diagnosed with an unexpected illness or you may experience the loss of someone close to you. There will be hard decisions you will have to make. You will make mistakes and when you do there will likely be tough consequences to walk through as a result of those mistakes. You may face things in this life that will feel so overwhelming. It will be difficult to see and even believe that good lies beyond the storm. You may even doubt whether you will have the strength to endure. Some storms will be fierce. 

Some of the storms you will face in this life will catch you off guard. There is no way to see them coming, no way to prepare. 

Some of the storms you will face in this life will terrify you. They may hold unknowns or difficult circumstances that cause you to question God and doubt His goodness. They may leave you feeling discouraged or even defeated. 

In this life, storms will come. How will you respond when they do?

In any difficulty we face, we have a choice. We have a choice to either react to the difficult circumstances before us or respond to them. What’s the difference? 

When we react, we move forward without thinking, allowing our emotions to dictate our actions. I have to admit, that far too often I make the choice to react to the circumstances before me. When storms come, I tend to panic. I focus on all that is going wrong and allow my emotions to spiral out of control. As my emotions spiral, my thoughts quickly follow. I then find myself making decisions to do things or say things without considering the wisdom of those decisions or the consequences of my actions. I often regret those decisions and realize that my reactions often do little to pull me from the storm. They tend to just make it feel darker. 

If you think about the culture we live in today, aren’t we a people who tend to react? We are so quick to judge, so quick to take offense. So quick to speak or act without considering the wisdom of our words or actions or the consequences that may result. How different would our world look if instead of reacting to our circumstances, we chose to respond? 

To respond is to take a moment to pause, and in that pause, you seek God’s perspective on what is happening around you. I’ve learned that He often sees things differently than I do. Where I tend to have tunnel vision and can only see what is right before me, He sees the big picture. He sees all of the moving pieces. When we choose to respond we are asking God to help us see clearly and to understand our circumstances through His eyes. When we choose to respond, we are asking God to show us how He would have us move forward, what steps He wants us to take. We want to respond in ways that are wise and honor Him. It isn’t always easy to do. 

My first teaching job was just inside the beltway of Washington D.C. I had a class of 30 third graders in a temporary trailer behind the school building. Part way during the year, I received a new student. Within the first week, he repeatedly left the classroom without permission and climbed up onto the roof of the trailer. He refused to come down unless he was promised a snack in the nurse’s office. Now, when this first started happening, I completely reacted to the situation. I was frustrated and angry with him. I yelled. I had him stand along the wall at recess. In my mind, his behavior made him unteachable, and I wanted him out of my classroom.

After some time, however God gave me a different perspective on this student. From his frequent visits to the nurse, she learned that his family moved around . . . a lot. There wasn’t always food at the house, and she was suspicious he was being mistreated at home. As I considered all that she shared with me, I was reminded that so often we pass judgement on others without fully understanding their stories. Learning more about this student’s story, I could understand why he behaved as he did, and I felt so ashamed for not extending more compassion towards him. I reacted rather than responded to that situation and regretted it. 

That experience challenged me to consider the fact that rarely do I see the full picture. When the storms come, often there are things contributing to the storm that I’m unable to see or unable to understand. Rather than reacting to the circumstances before me, it is wiser to respond by seeking God’s perspective first and asking for His guidance on how to move forward. 

Anytime you face a storm, you will have a choice. You can react to the storm or respond to it. Reactions are made hastily and dictated by our emotions. Reactions often leave us with regret. Responses however are made thoughtfully and dictated by God’s perspective. Responses are wise and honor God. 

Matthew doesn’t specifically tell us whether the disciples chose to initially react or respond to the storm they faced. Perhaps there was a mixture of both happening in the group? But, I do want to draw your attention to one thing we are told they did do. And this is the one point that God placed heavily upon my heart for you tonight. Verse 25 tells us, “They came to Him”. In the midst of this violent storm, the disciples turned to Him. They turned to Jesus. In the midst of their fear. In the midst of the darkness. They turned to Him. They turned to Jesus. When life throws storms at you, which it will, I would encourage you to do the same. Turn to Him. Turn to Jesus. 

One of my favorite passages is found in the book of Isaiah in the Old Testament and I want to read it to you again. 

“Eternal One: Remember who created you, O Jacob ?
        Who shaped you, O Israel ?
    See, you have nothing to fear. I, who made you, will take you back.
        I have chosen you, named you as My own.

    When you face stormy seas I will be there with you with endurance and calm; you will not be engulfed in raging rivers.
    If it seems like you’re walking through fire with flames licking at your limbs,
        keep going; you won’t be burned.

    Because I, the Eternal One, am your God.
        I am the Holy One of Israel, and I will save you.
    I have traded in nations to win you back,
        Egypt, Cush, and Seba, in exchange for your freedom.

    Because you are special to Me and I love you,
        I gladly give up other peoples in exchange for you;
    They are trivial by comparison to your weighty significance.”

Isaiah 43:1-4 (VOICE) 

These verses were spoken over God’s people, who had faced storm after storm after storm. God starts by saying, “Remember”. “Remember who created you.” “Remember who shaped you.” There is no one who can compare to our God. He is completely holy and perfect in all He does. As your Creator, God formed you exactly as He intended. No mistakes were made in your creation. He created you for this specific time, for this specific place, for His specific purposes. Don’t forget that. 

God then goes on to say that you have nothing to fear. You will face hard things in this life. But God promises to be with you in the midst of those hard things. He will give you the strength you need to face any storm. He will calm you and give you peace regardless of how high the waves may rise against you. You need only turn to Him.

Why does He do this? Because you are so precious to Him, and He loves you. 

Storms will come. Sometimes God calms them quickly. Other times, we have to walk through them for a bit. I’ve found though that God has used the storms in my own life to teach me some valuable lessons. The storms I have walked through have grown me and stretched me in ways I didn’t realize I needed. The storms I’ve faced have strengthen my faith and drawn me closer to Him. He can do the same for you. But, you have to make the choice to turn to Him.

This life you’ve been given is such a gift. Don’t take it for granted. There is so much that lies ahead, so many firsts to experience. There will be so much good in this next season. But, there will also be some hard, and in that hard, will be an opportunity to grow. Don’t fight the storms. Turn to God and open yourself up to the work He can do in you through them. He has a good plan for your life and sometimes you need to walk through storms with Him so He can get you where He needs you to be. When you find yourself in the midst of a storm, turn towards Him. Trust Him. He will there. He will not fail you. He will see you through. Turn towards Him.  

It Takes Wisdom and Evaluation

/ calledtomotherhood / Leave a comment

For many of us, our schedules are so busy. We spend our days running from one thing to the next, never pausing to consider if we are “Saying Yes” to things God actually intended for us to pursue. If you’re like me, it’s easy to acknowledge that you’re too busy. It’s easy to admit that you have said “Yes” to some things which perhaps should have been a “No”. But, if you’re like me, you might also be asking, how do we know if the opportunity before us is something for which God desires for us to “Say Yes”? How do we know what is the right path to take? How do we know that we are making a wise decision? 

First, it’s important to remember that there are two types of decisions we face. The first are decisions that are simple and straightforward. They don’t require extensive thought or processing. They are decisions that we can give a quick “Yes” or “No” to and move on. Should I feed the kids today? Yes. Should I let my toddler wander onto the street? No. Every day we will face decisions that deserve no more than a quick “Yes” or “No”. God has given us the discernment we need to confidently make these types of decisions.

Sometimes, however, we are faced with decisions that are more complex, more difficult. These decisions often are not always straightforward and working through them can often leave us feeling conflicted, anxious, or even overwhelmed. Should I take the job offer? Should we try for another baby? Should I “Say Yes” to this opportunity that has come before me? Have you ever faced a decision like that? I know I have. How do we approach those types of decisions? 

We have to start by gathering wisdom. Wisdom is defined as the ability to discern or judge what is true, what is right or what is lasting. God’s Word tells us that He will give us wisdom. God will give us the ability to discern what is true, what is right, what is lasting, if we ask.

“If you don’t have all the wisdom needed for this journey, then all you have to do is ask God for it; and God will grant all that you need. He gives lavishly and never scolds you for asking. The key is that your request be anchored by your single-minded commitment to God. Those who depend only on their own judgment are like those lost on the seas, carried away by any wave or picked up by any wind.”

 James 1:5-6 (VOICE) 

God will give us the wisdom needed when we face difficult decisions if we ask. However, we have to be committed to following Him and obeying His commands. We can only grow in wisdom if we are growing in our knowledge of Him and His Ways.

How do we grow in knowledge? Knowledge comes as we study God’s Word and the truth we find in its pages. In the Scriptures, God tells us how we are to live. The more we read God’s Word, the more we will understand what is true. The more we read His Word, the more we will understand how He wants us to live. The more we read God’s Word, the more we will understand which decisions are wise.

It’s also important, as we grow in our knowledge of Him and His ways, that we are taking what we have learned and are applying it in our own lives. As we apply what we learn to our own walks, our mothering, our marriages, and our relationships, we develop insight. We develop a deeper understanding of God, His ways, and how He wants us to live. We develop a deeper understanding of what makes a wise decision.

As we grow in insight and develop a deeper understanding of God, discernment will come. Discernment is the ability to distinguish truth from error, the right path from the wrong one. Discernment is that still, small voice of the Spirit within us who reminds us of the truth we know and how we should be applying it. Discernment helps us make those wise decisions.

As we seek Him and His ways, wisdom is found there. Any decision we make that is filtered through the truth found in God’s Word will be a wise one. Lysa Terkeurst says,

“Decisions that are wise today will still be wise decisions tomorrow.”

We have to seek Him and His wisdom. 

Sometimes, however, even if we’ve been gathering wisdom and growing in discernment, we can still feel conflicted when it comes to making a decision. Sometimes the path God has before us isn’t clear. In those cases, it is important to process and carefully evaluate the decision before saying “Yes” or “No”. To evaluate something is to judge, to assess, or to analyze. Careful evaluation can help us discern whether an opportunity before us is one in which God desires us to “Say Yes”. When we evaluate an opportunity, there are several things to consider.

First, what expectations and responsibilities will come by saying “Yes”. If you “Say Yes”, what commitment are you being expected to fulfill? If you “Say Yes”, what additional responsibilities will you be adding to your plate? It is important to evaluate and clearly understand the expectations and responsibilities that will come with “Saying Yes”.

Secondly, it is important to identify if those expectations and responsibilities are realistic for you in your current season of life. Think about your time. Do you have the time in your current schedule to devote to the demands saying “Yes” to this opportunity will bring? Think about your abilities. Do you have the necessary skills needed for this commitment? Consider your finances. Can you afford the financial responsibilities that come along with this commitment? Think about your passions. Do the responsibilities of this opportunity excite you or fill you with a sense of dread? Does this opportunity before you fit in with those things you are most passionate about? Given your current season, can you commit to the expectations and responsibilities that will come if you “Say Yes”? When facing a difficult decision, it’s important to consider this.

Next, identify if you have the resources this opportunity needs or deserves. Luke shares the wisdom in doing this.

 “Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish.’ Or can you imagine a king going into battle against another king without first deciding whether it is possible with his ten thousand troops to face the twenty-thousand troops of the other? And if he decides he can’t, won’t he send an emissary and work out a truce?” 

Luke 14:28-32 (MSG)

It is wise to think about the resources an opportunity needs or deserves before saying “Yes”. Do you have the physical resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves? Do you have the financial resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves? Do you have the spiritual resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves? Do you have the emotional resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves? If you cannot answer “Yes” to each of these questions, you need to say “No” to this opportunity. 

Now, it can be argued that God can supernaturally give in those areas where we are lacking. And He absolutely can. But, He doesn’t always. Carefully pray over and evaluate what will be required of you before you “Say Yes” to something. 

I want to close by encouraging you to do something before you “Say Yes” to more thing. I want you to evaluate the expectations and responsibilities and see if they match with your current season of life, and I want you to see if you have the resources available that this opportunity needs or deserves. But, I also want you to think about your approach. What do I mean by that? God’s Word tells us that our approach to activities, our approach to people, our approach to life must always be loving and it must always . . .  honor Him. Colossians 3:17 (VOICE) says, 

“Surely, no matter what you are doing (speaking, writing, or working), do it all in the name of Jesus our Master, sending thanks through Him to God our Father.” 

Everything we do must honor Him. Lysa Terkeurst says, 

“If the activity we’re considering is in line with God’s Word, but our approach to that activity isn’t, we will overdraw ourselves and bankrupt this part of our lives. A good approach to something requires enough resources to handle the demands of the activity . . . If someone or something demands attention that I don’t have the emotional space to handle, my actions start betraying my intentions. I will start slipping at reflecting Jesus in my words and deeds. When we slip at living out the Word of God, we slip at living in the will of God.” 

Before you “Say Yes” to one more thing, ask yourself these questions: 

  • It feels thrilling to “Say Yes” to this now. But how will this “Yes” feel two weeks, two months, and six months from now?
  • Do any of the expectations that will come from this “Yes” feel forced or frantic? 
  • Could any part of this “Yes” be tied to people pleasing?
  • Is my desire to please skewing my judgment of what’s realistic and unrealistic? 
  • Which wise (older, grounded in God’s Word, more experienced, and more mature) people in my life think this is a good idea? 
  • Are there any facts I try to avoid or hide when discussing this with my wise advisors?

If taking on that opportunity means saying yes to one or more of those questions, then let me ask you this . . . . Are you the right person for that assignment? Is that opportunity something to which God would have you “Say Yes”? Lysa says,

 “Whatever attitude we bring into a situation will be multiplied.” 

Will you bring a heart fixed on Jesus ready to move in His will or will you bring a heart that is reluctant and fixed on this world? Our activities must honor Him, yes. But our attitude and our approach are just as important.

Saying “Yes” is about truly understanding those assignments God has just for us. Carefully evaluate and process the opportunities that come before you; measure them against what you know is true, what you know is right. Look for the invitations God has before you. When you see them, “Say Yes”. “Say Yes”, and bring honor to His name.