A collective groan rippled through the room followed by what now were familiar statements. “Mom, this is the only day I have all week to rest.” “Mom, I have so much homework to do.” “Mom, I am so tired. Do we really have to go to church?”
Defeat washed over me. Defeat and a feeling of frustration. Frustration with my kids. But, if I’m honest, more so frustration with myself because deep down I had felt a shift. A shift in how I’d been prioritizing my time. A shift in what I’d been intentionally pursuing.
We’ve been in the midst of a really busy season for our family. All three of my kids are in the marching band this year, and I’ve been helping extensively with the boosters. Since July, we have had band rehearsals two nights a week. Starting the end of August we added a football game every Friday night. In September, we added a band show competition almost every single Saturday. These competitions typically start with rehearsal at noon and our family all getting back under one roof between 11:00 PM and midnight. Then you throw in hosting one of the largest band shows in the region, preparing for a craft show, booster meetings, keeping up with the endless fundraisers, keeping up with school work, ministry commitments and all of the other million things that need done in a day. At this point at the beginning of November? My kids are tired. I’m tired. The stress of our schedule over these last few months is catching up.
Now, I want to pause here for a moment and tell you that I am thrilled my kids are in band. It has made such a positive impact on their lives. And I absolutely love helping. But, the amount of time it has required has convicted me to look more closely at how I am spending my days. The choices I am making in how I spend my time is having an impact on not only myself, but also my family. The same can be said for you as well. The choices you make in how you spend your time is impacting your family. We have to remember that our kids are watching us. They are observing what types of things we are saying yes to and what is holding priority in our lives. And, if I’m honest, these last few months, my priorities have shifted a bit. At times, I’ve leaned into what has felt more comfortable or convenient and not those things I know God desires of me. Prime example? Getting my kids to church. I’m embarrassed to admit that our attendance has been hit or miss these last few months. Fatigue has been my go to excuse. I’m usually exhausted from the night before and find it hard to drag myself let alone three teens out of bed early on a Sunday morning. Our schedule has shifted my priorities. Our schedule has led me to make what I feel are some poor decisions on how I’m using the time God gives me in each day. Have you ever been there? Has an overwhelming schedule shifted your priorities? Has an overwhelming schedule distracted you from saying “Yes” to those things God desires for you to do?
Why do we allow ourselves to get so busy? I once read an article entitled:“9 Hidden Lies that Keep Our Schedules Overwhelmed”that I feel is worth sharing. The author, Josh Becker, says,
“The speed of our world is increasing. Technology and communication continue to improve. Information moves faster. And social media rewards those who never turn it off. (Side note here: I read a statistic that said by the end of an average person’s lifespan, he will have spent 5.7 years on social media platforms.) Expectations, demands, and accessibility continue to expand, but the number of hours in a week do not. As a result, our lives get busier and busier. This approach to life rarely benefits us in the long-run because a busy life is an unreflective life. In fact, often times, we are so busy scurrying from one thing to another we don’t even have the space to realize our schedules have become overwhelmed. We don’t recognize how our overcommitted lives are harming us.”
He goes on to share the nine lies he feels contribute to our overwhelming schedules.
Accolades (praise) will bring fulfillment. The thinking goes like this: The busier we are, the more we can accomplish and the more respect we can earn. And the more respect and accolades we receive, the more we can surely prove our worth and value to others.
Money will bring happiness. We often get caught up in needless busyness because of our desire to earn and secure more money. While it is important to work hard and provide for the needs of your family, it is foolish to think money is the quickest shortcut to better living.
I don’t have a choice. Many of us live over-busy lives because of the expectations and demands of others. In these cases, it is important to remember you always have a choice.
I’m more productive if I’m busy. Maybe you can be more productive for a short while, but human beings are not designed to work relentlessly without periods of rest. Countless studies confirm the importance of rest for productively. Eventually, a lifestyle of busyness will detract from our productivity. And more importantly, your health and well-being. There are no exceptions.
I am needed. Pride is defined as holding an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance. And it leads to overwhelmed schedules because of the foolish thinking that follows it: “Nobody else can do what I do.”
Everything is important. Our world has a tendency to make everything appear urgent, important, and beneficial to our lives. As the speed of information increases, our minds are seemingly less equipped to filter all the information and opportunities. But the most productive among us realize nobody can accomplish everything.
I need to be busy to keep up with everyone else. It may seem, at times, the only way to get ahead in life is to outwork everyone else. But just because everyone else appears busy does not mean they are busy about the right things. Nor does it mean they are finding joy in their pursuits.
Busy makes me look more important. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. In fact, being busy doing the wrong things is actually quite unattractive. Just remember, in a society rushing to keep up with everyone else, those who find peace, contentment, and rest are the ones admired…and envied.
Quietness is laziness. Often times, people avoid dealing with life’s deeper issues by packing their schedule tight. Someone who is discontent with their life’s choices can escape the difficult work of addressing them by masking them with busyness.
Have you ever fallen into one of these lies? I know that I have. We try to do it all and “Say Yes” to more than we should.
In her book, The Best Yes, Lysa Terkeurst says,
“A woman who lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule will often ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.”
An underwhelmed soul is playing every part, but the part God meant her to play. Too often, we say yes to things that God never intended for us to do. They may be good things. They may be great things. They may be things we love doing, things that we are absolutely capable of doing and doing well. But, they may be things that God never actually created us to do. They may not have been something to which we should have said “Yes”. Have you been saying “Yes” to things that God perhaps didn’t intend for you to do?
I want to take a moment and have us reflect on how we are spending our time each day. I want you to honestly and accurately write down all of the things you spend time doing in one 24 hour period. Make sure to include sleeping as well as the multiple times you are up during the night with children. Please also account for time devoted to your cell phone. Next, make a list of all of the extra things you have been adding to your schedule in the past month. These are in addition to the daily responsibilities or tasks you complete each day.
Look your list. Which of these things are absolute priorities in your life right now? What things do you absolutely have to “Say Yes” to? Feeding the kids. Going to work. These are absolute priorities. What else must you “Say Yes” to on a daily basis? You have to give them the time they require during this season.
Now, look at the other things on your list? Which of these things are actually worth continuing to pursue? Are you spending time doing things that honor God and are eternally significant? What type of a life are you modeling for your kids? What are you showing them is important? What things do you need to cut back on or completely remove from your schedule? Are there things you have said “Yes” to that should have been a “No”?
When I look at my own life, these are the things I desire most.
For Jesus to fully consume me – my heart, my thoughts, my actions- I want everything I do throughout my days to be filtered through Him
To love my husband well
To love my kids well
To love my MOPS family well
To love others I encounter daily well
I want to spend my time doing the things God created me to do. I want to spend my time in ways that honor Him and bring Him glory. I want to make a heavenly impact on this earth with the time He has given me. I want to spend my time pursuing things that in the end will really matter.
Jesus was teaching and someone asked Him what was the most important commandment. What was the one thing that was most important for them to do? Jesus says,
“‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Matthew 22:37-39 (NLT)
This is what I desire. I want to be all in with Jesus. To do so means that I need to take a careful look at how I’m spending my time. What do I need to change? Where do I need to shift? What do I need to be more intentional about? What do I need to let go of?
Mamas, we need to start being more intentional about how we are spending our time. Lysa says, “When I let my schedule get out of control, it’s my soul that suffers most.” We need to get to a place where we are honoring God with the time we have. It’s doing those things you were created to do.
“So be careful how you live; be mindful of your steps. Don’t run around like idiots as the rest of the world does. Instead, walk as the wise! Make the most of every living and breathing moment because these are evil times.”
Ephesians 5:15-16 (VOICE)
“How we spend our soul matters. Don’t get so locked into your overwhelming schedule that you haphazardly spend your soul. Never is a woman so fulfilled as when she chooses to underwhelmed her schedule so she can let God overwhelm her soul.” – Lysa Terkeurst
Called to Motherhood 